


Heart In Your Throat

by RuvikKin



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Everything is kind of the same but Arthur won't get TB, Hanahaki Disease, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, but like not who you think, dhfjhdf i'm clearing up the death tag, he's already hacking up flowers thats eNOUGH, i'm shaking it up BABEY
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RuvikKin/pseuds/RuvikKin
Summary: Dutch’s voice was droned out as he got distracted, watching the way Charles moved and how his hair fell in front of his face only for him to shove it back multiple times. Arthur barely noticed he was staring until a tickle in his throat made him cough.Dutch paused his little speech as he watched Arthur cough into his fist, a full body cough that made him shake. “Are you alright there son?”“Yeah Dutch, just-” Arthur coughed once more and slapped a hand over his mouth as he felt something fall from his lips. Arthur spun away from the camp and carefully removed his hand from his mouth, seeing a fistfull of purple petals in his hand. “Shit…”





	1. First Petals

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything for Red Dead yet but I am in love with Arthur/Charles.

 

Arthur stood outside his tent, taking long drags of his cigarette as he watched the people in the camp hustle around as they settled into their newest place, a little area called Horseshoe Overlook near a small town. It was quiet enough, the area was nice and it was covered by trees. Anyone who would come in would either come on accident or with a purpose and everyone would hope someone dumb enough to wander in would quickly turn tail and run.

“What do you think Arthur?” Dutch walked over, standing next to him as he ushered to the camp. “I think this is a nice place to settle for a while.” Arthur nodded and tossed his cigarette on the ground before stomping it out.

“I think its great, but whats the plan after this. Where to next?” Arthur looked over the camp again, watching everyone until his eyes settled on Charles, who was currently setting up his and Javiers tent. Dutch’s voice was droned out as he got distracted, watching the way Charles moved and how his hair fell in front of his face only for him to shove it back multiple times. Arthur barely noticed he was staring until a tickle in his throat made him cough.

Dutch paused his little speech as he watched Arthur cough into his fist, a full body cough that made him shake. “Are you alright there son?”

“Yeah Dutch, just-” Arthur coughed once more and slapped a hand over his mouth as he felt something fall from his lips. Arthur spun away from the camp and carefully removed his hand from his mouth, seeing a fistfull of purple petals in his hand. “Shit…” He felt Dutch’s hand on his shoulder and Arthur let out a shaky breath.

“You better get that cough under control. We got work to do.” Dutch pat his back a few times before walking away, shouting something to someone in the distance. Arthur sat on his bed, clutching the petals tightly.

“God damn it.”

```````

Arthur had been hanging around the camp the past few days only going out to hunt or buy supplies before coming back and trying to act like everything was normal and fine. Although his coughing wasn’t going away he was able to hide it for the most part. Dutch hadn’t said anything to him about it, and the only other person who noticed the petals was Mary Beth. She had given him a sad smile but hadn’t said anything to him. He was sure she had spoken to someone because Abigail and Karen had been whispering anytime he began coughing. Arthur was just glad nobody knew who the flowers were for, and that all of the camp seemed oblivious to it.

“Arthur!” He sat up at hearing Hosea call his name. “Arthur, sorry to bother you son but Javier wants to meet you down at the bar in Valentine.” Arthur nodded and stood, pocketing his journal that he had been doodling in. “Dutch… Dutch tells me you have a cough.”

“Yeah, its damn stupid. Can’t even pronounce the damn name of it.” Hosea nodded and rolled his shoulders.

“Hanahaki. I had it once upon a time, before Dutch and I picked you up.” Arthur looked up at Hosea, giving him a funny look. “Oh yeah, of course it was settled easy. Unrequited love, its rather stupid but it will go away if you talk to them.” Hosea shook his head and smiled. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but hey, if you run and bring me some herbs I can whip you something up I took when I had it. Won’t get rid of it but it can help the coughing.”

“Thank you Hosea.” Arthur smiled and Hosea nodded, walking off to go talk with the gang. Arthur head to his horse, patting her on the neck before jumping on to ride down to Valentine.

The ride was quick, seeing as he had been down there often he knew shortcuts to head down and ways to avoid trouble. All he’d like to do was go down, meet for a few drinks, and then he could head back to camp- maybe get some hunting done.

Arthur hitched his horse outside the tavern, heading inside he noticed Javier and Charles, or course Charles had to be there. The one person he had been avoiding since he started coughing up the flowers was now unavoidable. And to boot, had his arm around a woman and was obviously trying to sweet talk her. Arthur felt a cough rise up and he backed out, coughing into his fist until the few petals came out and he stuffed them into his pocket. Jealousy was a bitch. He tried again to go inside, making his way over to the two and the women.

“Oh Arthur!” Javier noticed him quick and waved him over, the other three looking up at him. “Arthur come over here I want you to meet our friends.” The two women turned to Arthur, eyeing him up quickly with smiles on their faces.

“Pleased to meet you.” Arthur nodded to them and the red-head pushed her chest out to him, grinning.

“Well ain’t you just the tough as teak mountain peak.” The other one shook her head with a smirk.

“You be quiet Anastasia, anyone can tell that this one is a pussy cat.” Arthur wanted to roll his eyes until they were in the back of his head, but he held off from doing so for everyones own sake. Javier laughed next to him at her joke.

“Yes he is a pussy cat. Ain’t that so Arthur?” Javier nudged Arthur and he shrugged it off, noticing Charles arm trying to slip around the girls waist again he decided to get rid of them quickly.

“Whatever you say.” He waved his hand to the red head. “How much you cost anyway?”

“Well ain’t that a nice way to talk to a lady.” She replied and bent over just slightly, trying to tease him into something but all he felt right now was another cough coming up being close to Charles again and he wanted to get the hell out.

“Sorry, I didn’t know I was talking to a lady.” Arthur responded, and the two girls were quick to leave in a huff. Javier and Charles looked at him, both disappointed but he could care less. They could go get laid another time, so long as he wasn’t around to see it. Not wanting to keep the conversation lingering he squeezed into the space where the two women were, grabbing one of the shots on the table and taking it with ease. “Where’s Bill?”

“Oh man, I dread to think about it.” Javier said with a laugh, and of course just like clockwork Bill walked into the bar. “Hey, hey there he is.” Arthur looked over his shoulder to see Bill bumping into someone, and he couldn’t held the dread that he felt seeing Bill- already drunk- getting in the mans face.

“He about to kiss that guy or punch him?” Arthur spoke, just a second before Bills fist connected with the mans mouth and it was a brawl suddenly. Javier smashing a bottle against a mans head while Charles picked up a chair and chucked it at someone- how that didn’t kill the man he had no idea.

Arthur got into it with someone who had grabbed him by the shirt and landed a fairly good punch on him. Knocked him just enough for him to get his mind off Charles for the first time in days, long enough for him to beat the man senseless. One the man had fallen back, Arthur was quick to help Bill by pulling one of the three men off of him, knocking him out quickly. Arthur felt pissed, of course a day just couldn’t go by without someone getting into a fight.

It was all a quick blur suddenly, one moment he was beating up someone, the next a big man had tossed him out of the window and into the mud like he weighed no more than a bag of feathers. Now, the fight was outside in the mud and rain and half the town was watching. Tommy, the big man was named he only just remembered, had rushed at him and pinned him to the ground quickly, punching him in the jaw. Arthur had just barely been able to get the man off of him and back on his feet when Tommy had begun swinging at him again. Arthur ducked out of the way, punching him in the face and the chest to just try and get him _down._ That was when, of course just for a moment, he noticed Javier; Bill; and Charles staring at him. Arthur noticed the concerned look on Charles’ face and he felt another coughing fit trying to hit him at the worst time.

Arthur was able to hold it back, but in doing so he distracted himself which gave Tommy the perfect chance to grab him and punch him in the gut. When Arthur felt the fist connecting he couldn’t help the cough that sputtered out of him and he could feel the petals falling out of his mouth. The crowd around them went silent and Arthur wanted to crawl under a rock- he didn’t want so many people to know about it and of course not Charles. Tommy took a step back and Arthur took the opportunity to punch him, just right in the face so he fell back into the mud.

He didn’t even bother looking at his gang members, only stumbled his way over to the store to wash the mud off of his face while the town muttered and began to slowly break apart.

“Making new friends again I see Arthur!” Arthur perked up at the familiar voice, and let out a laugh.

“Josiah Trelawny.” The well dressed man gave a bow and Arthur grinned. “I thought you had gone to New York.” Arthur dipped his hands in the water bucket, washing the dirt from his face.

“And miss all this glamour? You must be joking.” Arthur sat on the stores steps, rubbing his sore jaw. “I went to Blackwater to find you gentlemen and you are not very popular there it seems.” Arthur only shrugged and looked over to see Javier, Charles and Bill walking up. Arthur noticed that Charles was holding one of the petals in his hand, inspecting it closely. Arthur drowned out the rest of the conversation, more concerned that Charles was putting together two and two together. He only hoped to god that the purple petals weren’t distinct enough.

Arthur only snapped back into the conversation when Dutch spoke his name. “Are you with us son? Go get cleaned up, we’re going to get Sean back from Blackwater.” Arthur nodded, trying to act like he hadn’t just been staring at Charles hand for however long they had droned on. He stood and rinsed his face off again as everyone left- everyone except for Charles of course.

“Are you alright Arthur?” Arthur closed his eyes, damn him for being so caring, it was almost enough to make his heart jump again and his throat tingle with another cough.

“I’m fine, just… Just more shit.” Charles nodded and held the flower petal up to him. “I don’t need that back thanks, I seem to have a good supply of them right now.”

“Its Aster.” Charles stated, flipping the petal over to show it to Arthur as if he was just stating the obvious. “Common wildflower here.”

“Well its too bad theres not a market for the petals or I’d be rich enough to get us out of here.” Arthur leaned on a wooden beam, trying to act calm while his heart was beating out of his chest.

“They are a symbol of Love and Patience, I used to see them all the time when I was younger. Usually given as a gift, sometimes used to ward off evil spirits.” Arthur nodded along and rubbed his jaw again. “Arthur-”  
“Don’t start Charles, I know the whole han-a-hacki thing can kill ya. I’ll see if I can scrape together money to see a doctor or somethin. For now though we should get Sean out of Blackwater before Dutch loses his mind about us not doing anything.” Charles’ shoulders slumped for a moment before he nodded and walked off quickly. Arthur groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

At least he knew the flower now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you going to tell me who it is or am I just going to start listing off names?”  
> “Hosea….”  
> “I know its not Mary-Beth, I saw you dancing last night and heard no coughing afterwards. Karen doesn’t seem like your type and well Abigail and John are kind of-”  
> “It ain’t a woman.” Arthur rubbed his face and he could tell the admission caught Hosea off guard for a moment. “Its Charles, damn it I’m in love with Charles. ..."

Getting Sean out of custody sounded a lot easier than it turned out to be.

Going anywhere near Blackwater was tricky, Arthur had to stay away from any main roads on the way up and even just lying on the dirt watching Sean kick up a fuss was dangerous- in broad daylight of course anything was. Then getting down to him, taking out the guards was easy, and it wasn’t so much when the gunshots started. 

Arthur continued to get distracted thinking about Charles, he knew damn well the man could handle himself up there, but when Javier called out he was in trouble Arthur had acted so fast it made his own head spin. Watching Charles grapple with a man over the ledge, Arthur took aim at the bounty hunter and shot him in the head without a second thought. Charles turned, giving him a thumbs up that everything was all clear, meaning he and Javier could run up without bullets flying past their heads. Arthur felt the tingle in his throat starting up again and he cleared his throat to hold it back.

Think about Sean, think about getting Sean safe.

Absolutely do not think about how good Charles looked man handling that asshole in the bar earlier.

Don’t think about him setting up his tent earlier.

Do not think about the way his voice was low on the mountains while hunting down the deer, how close he had gotten to point out the tracks-

_ Damn it. _

Arthur slowed as he began coughing again, spitting out petals as Javier glared at him. “Right now Arthur!?” Arthur met his glare and waved him off, climbing up the remainder of the hill after Javier.

“Come on you two, the camp is down this way!” Charles called out and Javier raced after him, shooting the members of the camp. Arthur could barely hear Sean calling out to them, but his focus was kept completely on killing as many people as possible.

The shooting finally came to an end with the remaining bounty hunters scurrying into the woods to barely escape with their lives. Arthur pulled his pocket knife out, making his way over to Sean. “Arthur! Cut me down!” Arthur rolled his eyes, reaching up to cut the rope sean was strung up with. Sean fell on his back and sat up, trying to undo the rope around his ankles but Arthur waved him off and cut it off for him. “Arthur, you know you’re a lot less ugly from that other angle.”

“I’m sure, come on.” Arthur grabbed Seans arm and helped him up, looking around to make sure Javier and Charles were alright since he hadn’t bothered to check before. Arthur began walking away but he heard Seans protest, annoying as it was.

“Do I get a hug Arthur?” Sean opened his arms and plastered a goofy grin across his face. “A warm embrace for a lost brother now found?” Arthur shook his head, patting Sean on the shoulder.

“Nothing means more to me than this gang, the bond we share is the most real thing to me.” Arthur put more weight down on Seans shoulder as he spoke. “I would kill for it, I would die for it. But in spite of all that I would have left you here to rot if Charles hadn’t stopped me.” Sean couldn’t help but laugh at him and Arthur could hear Charles let out a huff behind him.

_ Don’t cough in Seans face. _

“I don’t believe a word of that Arthur!” Sean stated, so sure of himself. Arthur shoved him over to Javier, telling Javier to take Sean back to camp and for Charles to head back separately while he stayed behind to check for anything the bounty hunters camp may have.

Arthur waited until Charles and Javier were well out of sight before he let himself cough again, swearing to himself as he spat the petals out on the ground.

```````````

Upon returning to camp Arthur noticed everyone was relaxed and drinking, celebrating Seans safe return home. He was quick to grab a whiskey from one of the boxes and opened it, drinking some of the liquid down while Sean stood up to make a speech to the camp. Not really one for Seans speeches, Arthur turned away and head over to a campfire where he saw Javier sitting alone tuning his guitar. He made his way over, taking a seat on the log in front of Javier.

“Hello there, flower boy.” Arthur groaned at Javiers remark, muttering a ‘don’t start’ which Javier laughed at. “I haven’t told anyone, but I heard the ladies gossiping about it so are you going to tell us all who you’re coughing for?”

“It ain’t important.” Arthur took another swig of his whiskey, leaning forward and rubbing his eyes. “Just keep it a secret for now, I’ll talk to the women about keeping shut.”

“Your secret is safe with me friend, and I don’t think Bill really cares.” Javier strummed his guitar gently and looked up at Arthur. “It was a good thing you didn’t put Sean with Charles for his… Escort back, I don’t think he would have made it back.” Arthur snorted out a laugh, drinking back the rest of his whiskey.

“Charles would have rung his neck and strut into camp saying Sean was dead when y’all arrived.” Arthur could almost picture it, with Charles preferring silence and Sean being someone who would need a damn gag to keep himself quiet, Charles would have gone crazy having to bring him all the way back. He probably could pick Sean up with ease, set him on the ground and tell him to walk back; or if Sean drove him that nuts Charles could very easily strangle him. Arthur felt his chest tighten and his throat tingle and he swore, coughing into his hand while Javier grinned up at him.

“Oh I knew it. You’ve got it bad, Amigo. I won’t tell him.” Arthur glared at Javier who just gave him a knowing look before he turned to his guitar again to play. As people gathered around to sing or listen to Javier,  Arthur stood and he stuffed the flower petals into his satchel before walking off and grabbing another drink.

The camp was chatting and talking around him, soft music came from Dutch’s tent so he made his way over there and saw Dutch slow dancing with Molly, spinning her around as she giggled and laughed with him. Arthur finished his drink quickly and turned to walk away when he heard Mary-Beth clearing her throat.

“Will you dance with me Arthur?” She smiled at him and he nodded.

“Sure, I ain’t much of a dancer though.” Mary-Beth laughed, and Arthur took her hand to gently tug her close as they began swaying together. He couldn’t help the smile on his face as Mary-Beth lit up while dancing. She was a nice girl, good looking too and she was smart with just about everything she did. Arthur liked her enough to dance with her at least.

He wondered briefly if Charles liked to dance, he could see Charles being one to dance while he himself tripped over his own feet.

Of course that set off another tingling feeling, one he tried to get rid of by focusing on Mary-Beth instead, twirling her around which caused her to giggle. “You’re not a bad dancer Arthur Morgan. Not a bad guy either, you really should relax some, we all know you ain’t as bad and sad as you think.”

“Oh I don’t know about that.” Arthur shrugged and Mary-Beth told him to ‘loosen up sometimes’ before they fell into a comfortable silence, swaying along with the music.

As the song came to an end Arthur dipped Mary-Beth back before he let her go, glancing over at Dutch and Molly who were whispering to one another. “Thank you Mr. Morgan.” Mary-Beth smiled to Arthur and they bowed to each other before Arthur tipped his hat and walked off. Arthur could hear Uncle starting to sing his popular “ring dang doo” song and he debated going to join them but decided against it, grabbing two drinks before going to look for Charles. Arthur hadn’t seen Charles since he arrived back so Arthur figured he was off guarding while everyone else was having fun.

The tickle in his throat and the tightness of his chest reminded him that he needed to talk to Charles and it would be better late than never, and better drunk and rejected than sober and rejected.

Just as he expected, Charles was sitting not far outside of camp with a gun next to him while he was sharpening some of his arrows. He turned just as Arthur was walking up to him and Arthur quietly held one of the drinks out to him, which Charles took and opened up to sip from. “Thank you.” Charles muttered and Arthur nodded, taking a seat not too far away from him.

“What’re you doin all the way out here huh? Missin’ a fun party. Anyone stupid enough to attack us right now would get hauled away before they could ruin this bands drunken fun.” That got Charles to chuckle before he shook his head.

“Its loud for me, and I heard Seans speech when he was about as sober as he’ll get. I didn’t want to hear more.” Arthur couldn’t help the laugh that burst forward, grinning at Charles.

“Yeah I didn’t listen to him either, hes not a bad guy but hes… Hes something.” Arthur smiled, looking up at the sky through the trees where the moon shone bright. It’d be almost romantic sitting out there together, except for the looming cloud over Arthur.

Arthur wanted to talk about the flowers, he knew at some point he would need to and that Charles would figure it out if he didn’t, but Arthur was never the romantic type and doing anything like that would be no better than punching him in the gut. He’d never admit it out loud but he was scared too, he heard horror stories of people who got rejected and the flowers would choke them in a week. Having the flowers in his chest would cause long lasting damage, but he had a few months time before they took over at least- maybe by that time he could watch the gang take off on a boat to Tahiti, or maybe he’d have an operation and could go with them.

Or Charles would reject him and he’d be long dead before any of that would happen.

Arthur scowled at himself and drank more of his drink to try and calm his nerves when Charles spoke up. “Was there something you wanted to talk about?” Arthurs stomach dropped with nerves- of course he wanted to talk but right now? When he wasn’t falling over drunk? He couldn’t.

“No.” Arthur finished off his drink. “Just needed to get away from the loud noises. I’ll go if I’m botherin you.” Arthur didn’t even bother waiting for a reply before he walked back into the camp. Everything was starting to settle and he could see people going their own ways- Sean and Karen taking this as an opportunity to sneak off into Seans tent. He rolled his eyes and head to his own tent.

Having a tent near Dutch was nice sometimes, he knew that Dutch was always right there in case of a problem, but sometimes- like tonight- it wasn’t so nice. Dutch was playing his usual music loudly and he could occasionally hear Molly giggling over it. The whole thing sometimes made him sick, just a reminder though that everyone was happy together in some sense. The only upside to having the loud music in his ear was he couldn’t hear Sean and Karen. Almost couldn’t at least.

Arthur scowled and laid down, grabbing his pillow and throwing it over his head in an attempt to block out even some of the loud noises. It was going to be a long night.

```````````

Arthur was up early the next morning, woke up from a dream about Charles- one he vowed never to talk about to anyone- with a coughing fit of course. Which alerted Dutch in the tent next to him, but Dutch didn’t say anything and only gave him that ‘You still doing that?’ look before he turned away from Arthur. He ended up pulling out his journal while nobody else was up, knowing that’d be the one play he could write about stuff. In as little detail as possible.

What started out with writing about his coughing fits and the dream turned into him sketching out Charles, just as perfect as Arthur thought him to be. He was able to capture his every detail of course, he’d spent enough time recently staring at the man and fantasizing about him that it’d be borderline creepy if he didn’t know him. Arthur coughed a few more times into his fist and decided to end his journal entry by pressing the flower petals in the page, securing it tight so they would hopefully stay in one place.

He stood up, stretched, and made his way over to the coffee pot- grabbing the mug off his hip to pour himself some. Arthur wandered around the camp for a few moments, sipping at his coffee when he heard Hosea calling his name. Naturally Arthur walked over without a second thought and saw Hosea cleaning one of his larger guns. “Well good morning old man, what’re you doing up so early?”

“I wanted to take you out hunting, just us like old times.I saw a big bear, one of the biggest I ever saw- reckon nearly a thousand pounds. Its up near the Dakota River, might take a day or two.” Arthur nodded and downed the rest of his coffee.

“I could do with a break from this place.” Not exactly a lie, he wanted to get away and try to keep his mind on anything but Charles, then again he knew he’d be pining after seeing him with the distance but if Hosea was right about how large the bear was he doubted he’d have any problems.

“Its been a rough couple of weeks. Do you need anything?” Arthur shook his head and the two made their way to the horses. “Still no replacement for Boadecia?”   
“Nah, I miss her though. Quite a horse.” Arthur pat the new replacement he had for the time being, he hadn’t expected to keep this one for so long but hadn’t had a chance to get a new one. “This ones alright but it ain’t the same.”

“Well I’ve been meaning to offload this big shire horse for awhile. I got him when some loud mouthed bastard tried to rob me. Ah you know how it is.” Arthur chuckled and started fixing up his current horses saddle when Hosea piped up again. “Hey why don’t we take him to Valentine? You can sell him down there and get a new one. Come on, put your saddle on him and lets get going” Arthur didn’t even have a chance to talk Hosea out of it so he just shrugged and did what Hosea suggested, putting his saddle on the shire horse- almost struggling to do so at the sheer size of the thing- before he climbed on top of it. “Okay lets head into town, and no bar fights this time, I heard about that last one.”

“Yeah of course I’ll do my best. Not many people you wanna fight with at a horse stable anyway.” Hosea laughed and shouted out to the camp that they would be gone for a few days before they two rode off and head towards Valentine.

They chat on the way there about the Blackwater incident, about the people they lost during the fighting and how everything had turned to shit so suddenly. It still brought a sour taste to Arthur how it had gone so bad in such a short amount of time, and of course Dutch was pretending it would all be find and he acted like everything didn’t just get fucked as soon as they messed up on that job. Everyone who did get out was lucky, really lucky the whole gang got out without everyone dying.

One in Valentine Arthur let the shire to the stable while Hosea head down to the general store. He found a cheap one, decided to splurge a little on a new saddle and just let the man keep his old one once he emptied the saddle bags and bought a larger set. He didn’t have a lot of money but there wasn’t much he needed to buy anyway, he’d prefered hunting to buying his raw meat any day and he could always sell a deer or two and make the money back again. Dutch might have his head since he’s been complaining that they need money but what he didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. Hosea returned from the store just in time and the two set off towards the river.

The ride was mostly quiet, which suited Arthur just fine until his mind wandered back to Charles at camp. He knew deep down he could have very easily talked to Charles last night and knew that the man would sooner or later find out about him and that it wasn’t an avoidable topic. He wondered how things would have gone if they did talk, there was always the fear that Charles would reject him and he’d rush to get surgery done so he didn’t die. Then again there was the chance Charles would accept him, could have very easily sat by him and watched the stars and chat with him and told him goodnight with a parting kiss-

“God damn it!” Arthur exclaimed as he found himself lost in thought, having to tug on his horses reins to get her to stop while he coughed and choked into his hand, spitting out more petals into his fist before dropping them onto the ground.

“I thought I heard you coughing this morning. You know the longer you have that the worse its going to get for yourself. I have stuff for that medication I told you about but it won’t do you any good if you don’t talk to whoever it is.” Arthur scowled and spit out the last few petals, having to pull a stubborn one off his tongue before he flicked it to the ground. “Are you going to tell me who it is or am I just going to start listing off names?”

“Hosea….”   
“I know its not Mary-Beth, I saw you dancing last night and heard no coughing afterwards. Karen doesn’t seem like your type and well Abigail and John are kind of-”

“It ain’t a woman.” Arthur rubbed his face and he could tell the admission caught Hosea off guard for a moment. “Its Charles, damn it I’m in love with Charles. And he ain’t with me.” Saying that last bit hurt Arthur, made his chest tighten and he had to take a deep breath to calm down before he started coughing for a whole new reason.

“Well Arthur, thats a bit tougher than a woman. I don’t know if Charles likes men at all but you still need to talk to him, you can avoid it all you want but that won’t help.” Arthur nodded and gently prod his horseship to get her moving again, Hosea stayed riding next to him on the path. “I understand your fears son. When I had it I didn’t know what to think, its a scary thing but… Well I guess my situation was a little easier since I knew Dutch wouldn’t just let me die.”

“I know, and you liked Dutch and when you confessed to him he was relieved he didn’t have to go hunting someone down just so you’d stop hacking up petals.” Hosea grinned as Arthur finished up his own story. “But you ‘n Dutch are… Well practically soulmates. You knew from the first moment you hacked up those petals that Dutch would accept you but I don’t. If Charles decides he doesn’t want to be around someone like me theres a chance I’ll just die right on the spot!” That made Hosea laugh, but Arthur didn’t find it quite so funny.

“Arthur, being rejected just means we’ll have to spring for a doctor for you. You won’t die on the spot unless you’re on your last leg. Don’t let it get to that point, nobody wants to watch you choke to death because you let your worries get the better of you.” Hosea reached over and pat Arthur on the back before he sped up on his horse, leading Arthur in silence the rest of the way.

```````````

The hunting trip was eventful to say in the least, both of them deciding to leave upon seeing how big the bear really was- Arthur made a note to come back one day with a better gun and kill the thing for good. Nobody wants a bear like that wandering around anytime soon and he was certain he could get a good price for the thing if he did get to kill it.

When they arrived back at camp Arthur thanked Hosea for the fun and made a beeline for his tent, just wanting to get some rest in now since he had barely slept the night before- he never had problems sleeping outside before but his brain was too wrapped up thinking about the things Hosea told him about the petals. Before he could even sit in his bed Dutch had walked over and greet him with a clap on the shoulder.

“Arthur, I need you to do me a favor, now, Herr Strauss needs help with his debt collecting and I need you to do it. You’re the best man we have for the job and I know you can do it, you have before.” Arthur did not even try to stop the groan and he looked past the camp to where Strauss sat, writing in his notebook.

“I’m kinda busy here Dutch, I got other things I’m doin and we don’t need all the drama with-”

“I know, I know. But its money and we need money. Just help him out.” Dutch pat his shoulder again and walked off with a smile, giving Arthur no choice or say in the matter of debt collecting. He reluctantly head over to Strauss, something in the back of his mind telling him this wasn’t going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Arthurs not gonna get TB  
> Also just gonna say it now but this is so hard to write bc I wanna skip to the end and make them gay and happy


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two made their way outside and Lenny was lucky to catch himself before he vomit all over the porch of the sheriff's office. Arthur grimaced and turned away, blinking at the sunlight since he hadn’t fully adjusted to it.  
> “So… Charles huh?” Arthur perked slightly at hearing Lenny say his name and glared at him. Lenny was younger than him, probably drank a lot less, so of course he’d remember anything Arthur said.  
> “What about Charles?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize, this chapter is short but I hit some writers block! I'll make the next one longer.

Arthur was mad when he rode back up to camp.

He hated debt collecting, hated seeing the poor people who had struck a deal with Strauss, he hated the fact that he seemed to be the only one who ever did it, and he sure as hell hated going on chases just for some petty amount of money. After he arrived back and dropped the money in the box Strauss had walked over and handed him a slip of paper, telling him that he had forgotten someone, a rancher he had run into in Valentine. Arthur shrugged it off, he knew who Strauss was talking about because he had seen the man preaching in the middle of town- and the rancher had even tried to give Arthur advice about his ‘flower problem.’

Going into town now was hard, he had heard people talking when he was down there about how he had ‘flowers in his lungs’ and some people actively avoided him. He didn’t know if that was because they thought he’d infect them or because of the bar fight, but it made him all the more upset about his situation. He wanted to talk to Charles, every part of him wanted to know if the flowers would spread and kill him or if they’d go away, but he was nervous for what felt like the first time.

He’d had girls before, Mary and Eliza, but they were women and that was a whole different world from falling for a guy. Yes, he knew Hosea and Dutch had been a thing for a long time and they were never bothered by people turning their heads and giving them looks. Eliza had once told Arthur one evening while walking through town that he needed to stop caring what other people thought of him. Mostly people just called him stupid or just a big idiot and he didn’t really mind that. What he minded was the looks people would give him if they knew who he was or if he had done something that might seem stupid to another person. Those were the looks he got when riding into Valentine now.

Arthur decided to go take his anger out on the O’Driscoll they had brought back, Kieran he said his name was but Arthur didn’t pay that any mind. He scowled and walked over to the boy tied to the tree and heard him plea to be let go. Arthur got ready to punch him in the gut- face or whatever- when Dutch strolled over with Bill.

“Hold your horses there!” Dutch grinned and walked over, obviously smug about something. “It seems the cat has our friend heres tongue. I was thinking Mr. Williamson could have a word.” Dutch ushered to Bill, who got close to the O’Driscolls face and practically spat in it while speaking to him.

“I told you all! I don’t know nothin’ they ain’t no friends of mine. I just been ridden with them for awhile-”

“Horseshit! We heard that part so how about you tell us the truth?” It became obvious quickly that the O’Driscoll still wasn’t going to talk and Bill scoffed, turning to Dutch. “What should I do Dutch?”   
“Hurt him! So the next time he opens his mouth it is to tell us whats going on.” Dutch glared at the O’Driscoll who had turned and looked away, whimpering as he knew he’d get punched if he didn’t speak up. “Ah who am I kiddin’. One of O’Driscolls boys couldn’t open his mouth but he’d tell a lie. Screw it, lets have some fun. Geld him.” Dutchs words made Arthur blink in surprise, he hadn’t expected Dutch to throw out a threat like that, and for Bill to just walk off so easily and grab something sharp made a shiver run up his spine.

“Whats he doin- wheres he goin?!” The O’Driscoll was obviously panicked as he watched Dutch tug his pants off and finally everything clicked. Arthur hoped to himself that he would just speak so they didn’t have to deal with the screaming that came with this. He’d seen it happen only once to someone, some man who was caught having an affair, and Arthur swore to himself he’d never watch it again. He hoped Dutch thought the same thing. Bill made his way back over and held the hot metal down by the O’Driscolls balls, getting dangerously close which made the O’Driscoll shake and shout at them.

“-Now you are going to talk the question is, now or after we get those little fellers off?” With that he finally gave in, finally speaking.

“Okay! Okay Listen. I know where O’Driscolls holed up, and you’re right he don’t like you any more than you like him. He’s at six point cabin! I’ll take you there, serious. I don’t like him. I like him less than I like you. No offense.” Arthur scoffed at the words, he knew Colm didn’t treat anyone right but knowing that the O’Driscoll tied to the tree and almost had his balls cut off still liked Dutch more than Colm, just made it all the better to go and kill him.

“Okay then partner, why don’t you take a few of us up there right now.” Arthur pulled his knife out and cut the rope tying the O’Driscoll to the tree. He let the O’Driscoll pull his pants up before leading him away, calling over Bill and John to ride with him.

“John you take this rattlesnake up with you, any nonsense you kill him.” John shrugged and agreed, getting on his horse first before he let the O’Driscoll climb up.

With John leading the way the four of them left camp, with Arthur just barely catching the look Charles was giving him- one that spoke a thousand words and one that made his heart ache. He didn’t know how much Charles had seen, but considering the man looked disappointed then he probably heard all of it. Arthur coughed into his fist as they rounded the corner and swore to himself. He’d talk to Charles when he got back.

`````````

Arthur wasn’t any happier after shooting up the O’Driscoll camp. He had slipped up, almost got shot and Kieran had to come up and save him and of course Colm wasn’t even there. He had gotten away with a new gun and some cash, but all it really ended up doing was stirring up the law around them so Arthur didn’t even have a chance to look for anything more before he had to high tail it out of there. As he rode back into camp he noticed Charles was nowhere in sight, he had probably gone out hunting which threw a wrench in Arthurs plan to talk to him. He got off his horse and decided to talk to Dutch about what had happened, if John and Bill hadn’t told him why Kieran came back safe and alive without the threat of being tied to a tree, he was sure Dutch would want to know. Dutch was in his tent reading with Molly and it made Arthur wonder again why Molly had even joined up with them, this life wasn’t her style and she barely did any work around the camp but Dutch let it pass.

“Dutch, Miss O’Shea.” He tipped his hat down to her and Molly simply nodded, closing the book up as Dutch stood looking as happy as ever.

“Arthur, it feels like we are finally getting back on our feet.” Arthur nodded in agreement, it seemed like someone had explained it to him so Arthur decided it was best to not bring it up.

“Yeah. You find a buyer for those bonds yet?” Dutch shook his head and lit a cigar, assuring Arthur that Hosea was working on it. “When are we movin’ west Dutch?” Dutch let his shoulder slump at the question.

“Soon. I don’t know.” Dutch sat in the chair outside his tent and took a long drag from his cigar.

“It feels like… Like the whole worlds turnin’ on us Dutch. Like folk like us, we ain’t wanted no more. We’re bein’ hunted.” Dutch couldn’t help but chuckle at the statement, shaking his head.

“We are smarter than them. Only the feeblest of men take a job in the government.” Arthur agreed, but before he could get the words out he heard the sound of hurried horse hooves and Lenny shouting along with them, something about Micah. Arthur was quick and alert as Lenny jumped off his horse, stumbling and looking like a wreck. The two of them made their way over to Lenny who was very much shaken by something.

“Dutch! Arthur! They got Micah! He- He’s been arrested for murder. He was in Strawberry and-”

“Its okay son, breathe.” Dutch put his hands up to try and calm Lenny down. Lenny let out a sigh and bent down, catching his breath finally.

“They nearly lynched me. They got Micah in the sheriffs in Strawberry, and theres talk of hanging him.”

“Heres’ hopin.” Arthur nodded and Dutch just about smacked him upside the head, saying his name in a disappointed tone. “What? The fool brought this on himself. You know my feelings about him Dutch.”

“You think I can’t see past his bluster to the heart inside?” Arthur almost scoffed, he knew Micah didn’t have a heart but if Dutch thought someone did there was no talking him out of it. Arthur tried to argue out of heading out to get Micah but it was no use. Dutch told him to go get Micah, and then when they both noticed how Lenny was still shaking he told Arthur to get Lenny into Valentine and get him drunk. That one Arthur could do with ease, as for Micah he’d love to see him hang if he was given the opportunity.

Arthur took Lenny down to the bar, asking him about Micah and what he had done on the ride down. Hearing Micah was drinking while scouting made him angry and then hearing he had killed someone just make his blood boil. He knew that sooner or later Dutch would need to know about this, and he figured after he had taken Lenny to calm down and pulled Micahs ass out of jail he could tell Dutch the whole story with Lenny.

When the two of them walked into the building they got looks from the patrons, which Arthur promptly ignored as he made a beeline to the bar, ordering himself and Lenny each a drink while tipping out the bartender with an assurance that he wasn’t planning to get into a fight tonight.

 

“Just one drink, right Arthur?” Arthur nodded and took his drink, clinking it against Lennys.

“O’ course. Just one.” Arthur pressed the bottle against his mouth and tipped it back, easily finishing off his first drink for the night.

```````

“Arthur! Arthur!” Lennys voice woke Arthur up and he groaned, sitting up and rubbing his face. His head was throbbing which only made Lennys voice seem to echo around him. “You alive?”

“Shut up…” Arthur rubbed his eyes and he heard the lawman laughing at them. Drunken violence apparently, he didn’t remember enough to start an argument about it and just waved it off while Lenny gave the guy ten dollars so they could walk out. The two made their way outside and Lenny was lucky to catch himself before he vomit all over the porch of the sheriff's office. Arthur grimaced and turned away, blinking at the sunlight since he hadn’t fully adjusted to it.

“So… Charles huh?” Arthur perked slightly at hearing Lenny say his name and glared at him. Lenny was younger than him, probably drank a lot less, so of course he’d remember anything Arthur said.

“What about Charles?”

“Asked you last night who you’re coughing up flowers for and you went on tellin’ me about Charles and how great he is.” Arthur sighed and covered his face, of course he had done just that. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him, ain’t my place to anyway.” Lenny wiped his mouth off and called his horse over, climbing onto it. “I’m heading back to camp, I gotta sleep this headache off.”

“Go on ahead, I got shit to get to anyway.” Arthur sat down on the porch and covered his eyes as Lenny rode away. He waited until the world stopped spinning before he got up and whistled his horse over and mount onto her.

He rode out of town before he stopped, leaning over the side of his horse to vomit as his head continued bangining. Arthur was angry at himself for slipping up and telling Lenny who he was pining after- who he was in love with technically- and he could only be grateful it was Lenny and not someone like Bill or Pearson who was with him. Lenny was good at keeping his mouth shut when he needed to and he knew that Lenny wouldn’t judge him on it. Arthur still scowled at himself and rode off on his horse, he figured he could pay that Downes man a visit while his head was still pounding before he got Micah out of jail, he didn’t want to go talking to a sheriff and end up vomitting on him if his head didn’t stop spinning.

 

The ride down to the Downes place was uneventful, with his head soothing from the fresh air and a drink of water on the way down. Upon arriving he could hear Thomas coughing already and remembered the man was sick every time he saw him in town. Arthur sighed and got off his horse, making his way over to the field where the man was working. “Thomas Downes.” Thomas turned and looked at him, seeming scared all of a sudden. “You owe me money.”

“I’m afraid your trip here-” Thomas was stopped by a cough and Arthur watched him carefully, noticing the blood coming out of his mouth. He made a choice then and there not to get any closer to Thomas than he already was- he didn’t want to get sick and really beating up a sick man for a couple of dollars made even his stomach flip. “Your trip here has been in vain.”

“We ain’t a charity Mister Downes.” Arthur leaned on the fence and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it quickly. Thomas put his hands up a bit and shook his head.

“Please, I have a family we just need a bit of time. I’ve been sick I-” He stopped again and bent over, hacking up more blood onto the ground. Arthur grimaced at the sight and took a long drag of his cigarette while he watched the man hacking and wheezing in front of him.

“You better get that damn money you borrowed, its payday.” Arthur could hear the door of the house swing open and he saw Thomas wife and son rush outside, probably running as they saw him coughing and of course Arthur looked suspicious as hell.

“Thomas!” The wife rushed up to her husband while the son stood off to the side. Arthur put his cigarette out and shook his head, going back over to his horse.

“You owe us some money, I’ll give you time since he’s sick but you better have it next time I come or he wo

n’t be so lucky.” Arthur didn’t wait for a reply from any of the family before he rode off quickly on his horse. The threat felt heavy in the air even as he was well out of sight of the farm, he knew explaining to Strauss that the man didn’t have the money yet wouldn’t go over well but Strauss wouldn’t do anything to him, and if Dutch asked he could easily wave it off as the man being on his deathbed and it felt wrong to beat him.

Arthur checked his map and decided it was time to head to Strawberry and get Micah out of jail before he’d head back to camp. At least he could do that much, and maybe he’d get hunting done on the way home to compensate for the Downes situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its all going to be fine. Mostly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well now Arthur, I heard some rumor floatin around about you. Wanna tell me if its true or not? You really hackin up flowers?” Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose and turned to Karen. “You can trust me, I ain’t here to judge. But everyone who knows- and people are knowin now- we all want to know who you’re coughing for. Mary-beth thought it might be her, I saw you two dancin when Sean came back.”  
> “Karen-”  
> “Or you coughin for Tilly? Unless you’re doin it for me which is sweet Arthur but you know that Sean and I… Well… He’d put up a fight though I don’t think it’d be much of one for you.”

“Why you act so sour all the time?” Arthur gripped the reins in his hands and wiped some mud from his face, glaring over at Micah. They had just shot up half a town, Micah making a house call in the middle of all of it for some guns, and had killed good people and lawmen just trying to get out of there. He wished he had let Micah hang, he should really drag Micah back and throw him to the lawmen and high tail out of there but he knew that Dutch would be very unhappy if Micah got out again and told him what Arthur had done.

“Yeah well you ain’t funny at all so why you gotta act like the court jester?” Micah shook his head and turned his horse around.

“Well I’m sorry cowpoke but you and me, were family now. Sons of Dutch, makes us brothers… and sometimes brothers make mistakes. Now I’m headin’ back to my camp round back of Strawberry. Come see me, maybe I can make things up to you.” Arthur gave Micah a confused look, wondering what he’d be doing going back to his own camp- and wondering when he MADE a camp since he’d been with Lenny and then in jail as far as he knew.

“You ain’t headin’ back to Dutch?”

“No, I’ve been a bad boy Arthur. I ain’t going back to Dutch til I can get him a peace offering.” Micah clicked his tongue, signaling his horse to go while before waving goodbye to Arthur.

Arthur scowled and rode off, eager to get back to camp and tell Strauss now what had happened at the Downes farm.

Pulling the bow off his horse Arthur decided to take a bit of time to hunt and practice with the bow. If he didn’t catch anything at least he could tell Charles he’d been practicing with it, maybe even convince the man to go out hunting with him sometime soon. They’d both been so busy it felt like Arthur hadn’t spoken to him since they got Sean home safe. Now with Micah out of jail and the possibility he’ll be coming back to the gang soon looming over Arthurs head he figured he may as well go all in with it. Just hoping at least he didn’t get killed by a bunch of flowers.

Arthur rode into the woods, tracking down a deer that he could tell would be good for a stew. He jumped off his horse and crouched down to follow the trail quietly. Finally when he saw the deer, Arthur lifted the bow up and aimed.

_ “Aim for the head or the neck, we want a good clean kill.” _ Arthur took in a deep breath as he thought about Charles words, trying to keep his hands steady and his mind clear but the damage was already done. Just as he pulled back to let the arrow fly his lungs ached and his throat tightened, causing him to start hacking and of course scare the deer. Hacking out a fist full of petals, Arthur cussed loudly and made his way back to his horse, climbing onto her and clicking his tongue to ride off. If he couldn’t even catch a god damn deer without being distracted and coughing then he knew it was about time for a long talk with Charles.

  
  


The rest of the ride went almost smooth, only stopping once when he got hit by another wave of petals creeping up out of his lungs so he’d almost choke. He didn’t catch anything so when he returned to camp he made a beeline for Strauss, still angry the man had taken out a loan with someone who was so ill they probably wouldn’t make it the next month and made sure to tell him so. Strauss waved it off and told him they’d get it at a later date which was fine by Arthur.

Trying to keep any attention from coming to himself Arthur decided to do some chores around the camp while he kept his eyes out for Charles around. Either Charles was actively avoiding him or was truly busy because it seemed like whenever Arthur would look for him the man was never around the camp. With a sigh Arthur picked up a bail of hay, carrying it almost halfway across camp- whoever decided to put the horses so far off had made an incredibly dumb choice, before Karen walked over with a grin on her face.

“Well now Arthur, I heard some rumor floatin around about you. Wanna tell me if its true or not? You really hackin up flowers?” Arthur rubbed  the bridge of his nose and turned to Karen. “You can trust me, I ain’t here to judge. But everyone who knows- and people are knowin now- we all want to know who you’re coughing for. Mary-beth thought it might be her, I saw you two dancin when Sean came back.”

“Karen-”

“Or you coughin for Tilly? Unless you’re doin it for me which is sweet Arthur but you know that Sean and I… Well… He’d put up a fight though I don’t think it’d be much of one for you.”

“Karen.” Arthur snapped her name and that seemed to get her to quiet down. “I don’t want to talk about it. Whole damn camp knows I’m coughin, fine, but I don’t need that person knowing until I’m ready.” Karen raised her brow, taking a long drag of the cigarette in her fingers.

“Lighten up would ya? It ain’t a death sentence.” She dropped the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out before smiling to Arthur. “But you know I don’t tell any secrets, I got plenty of em. I just want to know, maybe I can help.”

Arthur looked around the camp and gently put his hand on Karens shoulder, tugging her over gently. “I trust you with my life. Trust most of the people here with my life, but believe me when I say this isn’t something I want help with. You’ll find out eventually, and you’ll find out with the rest of the camp.” With a smile Arthur pat her shoulder and walked off before she could snap at him.

It was getting dark and Arthur was getting tired now, with no sign of Charles in the camp he decided to make his way over to his tent. Before he could even sit down he heard Dutch call out his name. With a sigh Arthur turned to him, ready to hear out whatever he had to say this time.

“Arthur, son I know you’re tired but I need you to do one last thing tonight.” Arthur rubbed his eyes and nodded to Dutch to tell him to continue. “Hosea thinks he has a job down in Emerald Ranch, and needs you down there tonight. It shouldn’t take long, you know Hosea is an in and out kind of guy, and you can sleep when you’re back.” Arthur reluctantly agreed to head down and see what Hosea needed. “Thank you son.”

Dutch turned and left him, so Arthur made his way back across the camp to the horses, climbing up onto his own to ride out. On the way out he almost rode into Charles, who looked like he just returned from a very good hunting trip, which made Arthur feel good since he hadn’t been able to catch anything earlier. Arthur smiled and tipped his hat to Charles and felt his heart flutter when Charles smiled back at him before the two of them rode past each other. He rode a bit quicker as he felt his chest tighten again before he began hacking up flower petals once more, spitting them out onto the ground.

``````````

Arthur finally arrived at Emerald Ranch, more tired now than before and running on the fact that Hosea wouldn’t let a simple job take too long and he’d be in his cot and sleeping hopefully before the sun rose. Hosea seemed happy to see Arthur, quickly introducing him to the man he was dealing with- Seamus. Arthur was not in the mood to deal with him if he was honest, the man looked like he didn’t want to deal with them either and it seemed like Hosea had probably pulled a hell of a stunt to even get the man to sit down and talk to him. Seamus obviously didn’t trust them and Arthur didn’t care, but Hosea seemed pushy.

After a quick conversation and a promise that it’d be all hushed and nobody would find out, Seamus gave Hosea and Arthur a job and sent them on their way. He was having them rob his cousin, didn’t give them any reason to be worried though since both of them knew that family matters would stay in the family and this was purely business.

Once they were away from the barn Hosea was quick to question him. “You couldn’t have played that any better?”

“Thought you wanted me to show some strong arm? Thats usually how it goes.” 

“Yes but you know how this goes.” Hosea rode next to Arthur and gave him a worried look. “Are you still angry about those flowers? Gotta take it out on people we’re tryin’ to get money from is that it?”   
“Hosea…” Arthur sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “That ain’t it. This guy is a joke and you know it.”

“Thats why hes perfect. He won’t cause us any problems. A safe spot to fence wagons and coaches, well thats easy money for us.” Hosea leaned over and pat Arthur on the back. “But, really Arthur; Dutch and I are worried about you. We haven’t seen you do much talking to Charles lately and those petals don’t go away naturally, avoiding him isn’t going to work.”

Arthur could almost laugh at that. “Avoiding him? I’ve been tryin’ to talk to him. Feels like everytime I get up the courage to talk to him he’s nowhere to be found. Either he’s leaving camp when I show up or I’m leavin when he rides back in. I ran into him on the way out to come ‘n see you but I didn’t really have the time to say anything.”

“Now now, don’t put the blame on me. He was in camp when I left to come down here. So you haven’t been avoiding him at all? You sure about that?” No, Arthur wasn’t sure. As much as it was frustrating that they never seemed to be in camp at the same time, he also knew somewhere he was almost relieved they weren’t bumping into each other. It didn’t help the feelings and the petals at all, but it seemed to give Arthur an excuse for not talking to him. Arthur knew he could easily find Charles or wait around if he really wanted to, doing chores around the camp or what not until Charles rode back in.

“Hosea I ain’t sure its gonna work. I’m not sure hes… Well…” Arthur trailed off and waved his hand in the air like that was an explanation. Hosea had his horse trot out in front of Arthurs so Arthur would have to stop, and Hosea just raised his brow at Arthur to have him continue. “I ain’t sure hes into guys Hosea. I seen him around bars and he’s always tryin’ to hook up with a woman, never catch him glancin at a man the same way or- hell he barely glances at me when I’m around.” Arthur closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath through his nose. “I’m scared Hosea. You know how fast the disease can progress with rejection, we’ve seen it happen. Not to anyone important but we’ve seen it. Those people, they die in less than a week, sometimes they’re dead by the next morning.”

“You know if that happens doctors can remove it, sure it progresses quickly but we can always find you a doctor. I’m sure Dutch wouldn’t mind spending some money to get you healthy. Might be awkward as hell around Charles for awhile, but you could still survive. I don’t want to see you wither away because you can’t pull yourself to talk to someone, and I won’t watch you sink into a bottle again because you’re in love with someone.”  _ Again.  _ The word made Arthur flinch, made him remember back to when he was ‘in love’ with Mary and when they’d broken up, how he’d come back to camp and drank himself to the point of a blackout until Hosea hid away everything and made sure someone was with Arthur to keep him away from bars.

“I’ll… I’ll talk to him Hosea. When I get time I will. Tomorrow, maybe if Dutch doesn’t have me runnin’ around again and I can actually find Charles.” Hosea nodded, seeming a little happy with that answer.

“I’ll hold you to that one. Now, lets go rob this cousin by marriage before the sun comes up shall we?”

`````````

Arthur rode back into camp with Hosea, dead tired now from the very long day he had and his cot just seemed to be screaming his name. He hitched up his horse, giving her a carrot and a sugar cube before he finally made his way over to his tent. Noticing a letter on the table he had, Arthur picked it up and felt bile rise in the back of his throat as he immediately recognized the handwriting. Mary, of course it was Mary, writing a letter to him about meeting up. It made his heart jump as he read about her being in town and that she needed some sort of help, god damn of course she did. He set the letter down and sat on the edge of his cot, running his hands over his face as he thought about going to see her. Arthur knew they were long past every making up and getting back together, especially with flowers trying to grow in his lungs for someone else, but Arthur figured the least he could do is see what she needed help with.

Finally Arthur was able to lay down, he threw his arm over his eyes before closing them so he could sleep better- hopefully at least that was the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is like, so fucking hard to not speed through this bc I know exactly what I want to do with it and where I want to go but ughghgh. Writing is so hard. Sorry for the delay I hit a bit of writers block, I'm planning on progressing more in the next chapter (since I had this one half written before the block hit me) and have more Charles and Arthur moments.  
> Also has anyone ever noticed Charles in game is just... Never around??? Where is he all the time i wonder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur gasped and choked as he hacked up full flowers, feeling them scratching at his throat and making it raw with the scrapes and scratches. He fell down onto his hands and knees, hacking up a mixture of purple petals and blood. Feeling his lungs filling with vines and blood he tried to scream out, try to cry out for help but his voice seemed lost and choked back with the amount of flowers.

Arthur could feel the burning in his lungs, the sure sign of the flowers tightening around his chest and heart. Beyond hope now, he was struggling to breathe and tried gasping out for anyone. Alone, he was alone, always alone and dying alone. Somewhere? He wasn’t really sure where he was, everything seemed hazy and fuzzy like it was just out of his reach. Arthur tried to remember how he got where he was, the last thing he remembered was falling asleep, and a note from Mary. Had he ridden out to see her? No he couldn’t have, he’d remember, why couldn’t he remember?

Arthur gasped and choked as he hacked up full flowers, feeling them scratching at his throat and making it raw with the scrapes and scratches. He fell down onto his hands and knees, hacking up a mixture of purple petals and blood. Feeling his lungs filling with vines and blood he tried to scream out, try to cry out for help but his voice seemed lost and choked back with the amount of flowers. Arthur pressed his hands over his chest and rolled onto his back, gasping as he could feel the flowers in his chest moving and writhing. That wasn’t right, he shouldn’t be able to feel them so violently like that.

Arthur took another sharp breath before he felt his chest ripping, he looked down and saw the flowers growing out of him. He tried screaming again. The flowers burst forwards and he saw a spray of blood, the vines out of his body. Arthur felt he was going to die, he was going to pass out, he couldn’t breathe-

  
  
  


Arthur gasped and sat up quickly, coughing loudly he quickly covered his mouth as he felt a few dainty petals fall into his hands. He was back in camp, back in his cot where he remembered falling asleep. The camp around him seemed to get quiet for a moment but everything picked back up with relative ease. Arthur felt his chest, everything was fine and normal. A nightmare, of course he’d have a god damn nightmare like that, violent and so realistic.

He sat up and let his legs over the edge of his cot, sitting while he took a deep breath and tried to settle from the violent dream. Arthur grabbed his journal and decided to write everything down as best he could before he forgot anything. In the midst of writing he could hear Charles let out a grunt and then heard a  _ thunk. _ Glancing up Arthur saw Charles not far off, chopping wood so early in the morning. At least he hoped it was morning and that he hadn’t slept through anything important.

Arthur tried to concentrate on his writing, but every time he heard the axe hit against wood he couldn’t help but look up and watch Charles. Flipping to a new page in his journal Arthur decided he’d quickly sketch out the scene that would just be burned into his memory anyway. He tried to not stare, tried to keep his eyes down and his journal up like he wasn’t about to hack petals thanks to the view. He glanced up once and caught Charles eyes, the man just watching him. Arthur didn’t even noticed he had stopped chopping wood he’d been so invested in his journal. When their eyes locked Charles quickly turned his head as if he hadn’t been staring, and just finished up chopping wood before picking up what he’d done and carrying it off to the wood pile.

Arthur hid his face as he felt himself get hot, and he hacked up another few flower petals. He wondered how long Charles had been watching him sketching, all of a sudden he felt it was almost too obvious that Arthur had been drawing him. With the way Arthur was facing where Charles had just been and how into the drawing he’d been to even notice Charles stopped- even when he’d glanced up multiple times. He quickly put the journal away and stuffed it inside his bag, getting up from his cot now. Arthur heard Charles click his tongue followed by the sound of horse hooves, meaning he was out of camp again. He let out a sigh, damn him for being in an out so often.

Arthur could still smell some of Pearsons cooking and made his way over, looking down into the pot to see if it was ready, or maybe had been ready hours ago, or if it was still in a process. Unable to tell Arthur decided he’d try a taste, before he just figured it’d be safer to go hunt himself a deer and cook some venison elsewhere, bring back some meat maybe if Pearson wanted any.

Then of course, he remembered what he’d told Hosea the night before about talking to Charles. He mulled over asking Charles to go hunting with him and then thought the amount of food Charles had brought back the night before. Maybe he could ask him for help with the bow? The practice would be good, and it’d get him and Charles alone out of camp.

With a heavy sign Arthur grabbed himself a cup of coffee, sipping at it as he made his way over to the horses. He was a little surprised to see Kieran working with the horses, grooming them and feeding them, but he guessed that was the only job Dutch could think to give him. When Kieran saw Arthur coming he jumped, stepping back from Arthurs horse like he’d been caught doing something bad. Arthur couldn’t help but chuckle and down the rest of his coffee, attatching his mug back onto his hip.

“Easy there O’Driscoll.” Arthur walked to his horse, giving her a pat on the neck. “Dutch give you the horses to look after?”

“Y- Yessir.” Kieran nodded and grabbed a brush and began working on one of the other horses. “Doesn’t want me outta camp, but I- I’d feel bad just sittin around.”

“Well…” Arthur looked over his horse and smiled a bit. “Good work. Bout time someone was set to watchin’ them.” Kierans brows shot up, like he had been expecting Arthur to yell at him or rile him up about a fleck of dirt on the horse. Arthur climbed onto his horse, petting her again he turned around to leave when he heard Johns voice calling after him.

“Hey Arthur! Wanna talk to you.” John was holding something in his hand, a paper, and Arthur felt a slight bit of dread as to what it could be. “Where you off to in such a rush?” Arthur opened his mouth and then shut it, he’d wanted to talk to Charles but didn’t need John to know that at the moment, so he tried to think of something else to tell him.

“Just got business, what do you want anyway?” John scoffed and got on his own horse. “John-”

“I’ll just ride with you for a bit, besides Abigail is mad at me bout’ somethin and I don’t want to hang around here. Whatever business you got I’ll be outta your hair before you get to it.” Arthur sighed and shrugged, leaving the camp along with John, not like he really had any reason to tell John to fuck off anyway.

John was telling him about a train, something they could hit easily and make Dutch proud for hitting up to help them get back on their feet., and John had come up with a nice plan. Get a wagon with oil, lead it onto the tracks, and pray the train did stop or else it’d turn into a hell of a thing. Arthur was impressed with the way John had planned it out already.

“We’re gonna need guns, ammunition, and some dynamite to open the train up.”

“I can head into town and get everything, gotta head down for Abigail anyway. Don’t ask.” Arthur snorted and reached into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it quickly.

“Thought she was mad at you John.”

“Doesn’t mean she doesn’t have things she needs.” John eyed up the cigarette in Arthurs hand so Arthur pulled the pack back out and handed it to him. “Thanks. Why’re you smokin’ anyway, ain’t you got flowers in your lungs?”

“Hosea told me it kills it, I don’t know, don’t really care either way.” Arthur took a long drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke out towards John. “I’ll go get that oil wagon, I know just the place.”   
“If you could take it up north, a little abandoned shack near Dewberry creek and leave it hidden up near there that’d work fine. I’ll leave ya then, let me know when you get that Oil wagon taken care of.” John turned his horse around and rode off in the direction of town.

Arthur clicked his tongue and had his horse trot along the dirt path while he puffed on a cigarette. He could track down Charles and talk to him, but something told him that’d probably just make the man more put off than anything else. With a sigh Arthur stubbed out the cigarette on his boot before flicking it away and, against his better judgement, decided to go see what it was Mary wanted now.

````````

Arthur hadn’t seen Mary since her dad had decided that Arthur wasn’t ‘good enough’ for her. So seeing her open up the door, still looking young and well, it made his heart lurch. Not in the same way it had years ago and not the same way it did not when he saw Charles, but still there was somethin. It was awkward to say the least, he’d given her a ring and tried to prove himself to her father but she had turned away Arthur as the man he was and gotten married to someone else.

“I heard you and your friends was around… I…” She seemed just as awkward talking to him as Arthur felt.

“Okay. Where's uh.. Whats his face?” Arthur never bothered to learn Marys husbands name, only knew her last name had changed from the letter she’d written him.

“Died. Happened a while ago. Pneumonia.” Arthur took in a deep inhale at her words and got a bad feeling in his gut.

“Bad business… So you been made a widow and you come lookin for me is that it?” Arthur felt like he should just walk away, just leave her now on her porch without another word- but he stayed put for some reason.

“No, it ain’t like that Arthur.” She seemed taken back and offended at his words. “I, its my family. I need your help. Its my little brother, Jamie.”

“Your family needs my help? Family that always looked down on me? I liked Jamie but Mary.” Arthur shook his head and turned away, leaning on the fence of the front porch. “What’d’ya need anyway?”

“Little Jamies joined the Chelonians, that strange religious order. They’re rough Arthur, they’ll kill him. I need your help. You’re the only person he’d listen to.” Arthur ran his hand down his face, he knew it was stupid of him to come here, with so much happening and so much he could be doing rather than stand here and listen to Mary plead him.

“So, I’m too rough to marry into your family, but its’ okay to ask me to help in saving your family? That it?”

“I’m sorry. I understand if you don’t want to help me but.. I think of you often.” Arthur was about ready to roll his eyes and walk off- he tried to marry her years ago and here she came crawling back into his life when he had someone else. Or, he hoped he’d have someone else if Charles would accept him. He could feel his throat tighten and coughed into his fist, Marys expression growing soft. “Arthur-” He held his hand up and took a step away from her, spitting out some petals over the railing. “Oh Arthur…”

“Mary, long time ago I woulda helped ya. It ain’t worth it, ‘m sorry. Let Jamie go and live his life, or go get him yourself, ask someone else. I can’t.” Arthur walked off the porch of the house and climbed back onto his horse, he looked back to Mary who was standing sadly on her porch watching him. Without saying anything else Arthur quickly rode off, not wanting to feel any guilt in watching her much longer. He could feel his chest hurting in the same way it did when she’d told him goodbye all that time ago, and felt like it’d be the last time.

Arthur had a promise to keep to Hosea though. He had to talk to Charles.

``````

Arthur had stopped in Valentine on the way back to camp, getting himself a very much needed haircut and a shave before he had made his way back to camp. It had to be around noon now which left him with plenty of time to get to Charles and talk to him before he needed to get the oil wagon for John. When he rode back into camp he’d scanned the area, catching Hoseas eyes before Hosea nodded over to Charles tent with a smile. He took in a deep breath and head to the tent, seeing Charles sharpening a knife Arthur figured that’d be a good conversation starter.

“What you preparing for?” Charles head snapped up like he hadn’t heard Arthur coming and he grinned.

“The greatest of gifts.” Charles leaned back on his crate and looked the sharp knife over.

“An unguarded stagecoach?” Arthur put his hands on his belt buckle and he could see Charles huff at him.

“No you simple minded fool. Bison.” Charles stood and grabbed his gun. “Theres some over in the plains I believe. I saw a couple a long way off earlier.” Charles began walking off and Arthur let out a quick sigh.

“Well good luck.” Arthur scratched at his chin, figuring Charles would want to hunt alone since thats how he seemed to prefer it.

“You want to come with me? I can show you how to hunt one.” Arthur blinked in surprise, he wasn’t expecting Charles to invite him along on a hunting trip with something he was inexperienced with.

“Sure, why not?” He tried to sound melo about it, not sound like his stomach was doing flips at the thought of being alone on a hunting trip with Charles- and like he wasn’t trying to not hack up petals then and there. 

The two of them head to their horses and Arthur got on a little too quickly. He looked up to see Hosea and Dutch watching them. Hosea gave Arthur a nod and a tip of his hat while Dutch just grinned at them. Arthur waved to them before he set off riding with Charles out of the camp. Arthur was expecting a silent ride most of the way, or at least until they got closer to the plains but Charles began talking when they were out of the camp and away from everyone.

He began talking about bison, how his mother told him about them and what the bison were used for. Arthur listened to every word with interest, he seemed enthusiastic about it at least and if Arthur had known earlier that he could get Charles to go out hunting with him and talk to him this easily, he’d have done it days ago. Listening to Charles talking to him was like music, Arthur hadn't noticed before but Charles had a nice voice to listen to, then again everything about Charles was nice. It wasn't until Charles slowed down and gave him a funny look that Arthur realized he'd been staring and zoning out. Arthur cleared his throat and looked away from him out of embarrassment.

"I said, You must be tired. Saw you come back to camp late last night and you were up early this morning. Dutch has you running thin doesn't he?" Oh, Charles had asked him a question and Arthur was too caught up in his own thoughts to hear him. Arthur nodded and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well you know how it is. Everyone has to pull their weight. If it weren't for you I'd probably be doing all the huntin as well. Youve been pullin in good hauls for us, Pearson must be over the moon."

“He is.” Charles slowed down again, pointing off to the distance where a herd of bison stood. “Look, over there. Incredible aren’t they? We should only kill one of them, I’ll ring them in and you can bring one down. Clean as you can okay?” Arthur nodded and pulled his gun out, showing Charles that he was ready before Charles spurred his horse forwards and rushed to the bison.

Arthur was quick to follow, keeping an eye on Charles enough to see one of the bison moving away from the herd which seemed as good a sign as any to go after it. He held his shotgun up, aimed, and fired into its head three times which downed the bison easily. Charles seemed impressed and pulled his horse up near Arthur while the remaining bison rushed off.

“Well done. Alright, skin and butcher it. The horns too, it can all be used.” Arthur jumped off his horse and tried to stifle a cough as Charles told him he’d done a good job. He was quick to pull out his knife and get to work on the bison, hoping the smell of the dead animal would remind his brain now is not a good time to be hacking up petals. Didn’t work though as Charles ‘well done’ rang in his ears in the silence and he ended up having to turn away from the bison to cough. Charles raised a brow at him but didn’t say anything, instead choosing to look away as if Arthur was having a private moment. It made his heart clench a little seeing Charles turn away instead of ask if he was alright but when he saw the shift in Charles expression from he figured something was off.

Arthur finished skinning the bison in a quick amount of time, loading it up onto the back of his horse and wrapping up some of the meat to put into his satchel. “Good job. Mount up, theres something I want to check out. Charles still looked serious and Arthur didn’t waste any time climbing up onto his horse, giving her a pat on the back of her neck for good measure since he was sure his weight plus the bison skin wasn’t her favorite thing.

“Okay, where are we goin’?”   
“Thought I saw some scavenger birds over here, wanted to see what attracted them.” Arthur could see the birds off in the distance and he followed Charles over. Not even that far away he could already smell something rotting in the heat and it made him wrinkle his nose. He was going to comment on the stench when they both stopped- two bison lying on the ground dead. “Bison, shot and left for dead it looks like.” Charles tone changed as he was obviously angry at this.

“Why would someone do that?” Arthur meant it as a serious question, even though he knew Charles wouldn’t be able to answer him.

“I don’t know, I see some tracks heading in that direction. I say we follow them.”

“Alright, lead the way.” Charles scowled and head off in the direction of the tracks, Arthur riding next to him. He saw how Charles looked- angry and concerned at the same time- tried to think of something to make him feel better at the situation. “Could it have been an animal?”

“No they’d been shot. I just don’t know why anyone would just leave them here to rot like that.” Arthur kept his mouth shut, he figured there was nothing he could say to better the situation at the moment and Charles was focused on the tracking anyway, conversation wasn’t his top priority.

They rode finding another dead bison not far up where the others were, Charles commented how this one looked fresher and Arthur agreed. Arthur noticed a camp and jumped off his horse, walking over to it to look it over and check if anything was there. The only thing he noticed was the logs still warm which means they couldn’t have gone far. The two of them rushed off, Charles still leading the way by following the trail- Arthur could barely see it but he hadn’t been doing as much tracking as Charles ever was.

Riding their horses up to the top of the hill, Charles pointed out some smoke which meant another camp and they both were ready to head down and see who had killed the bison. It meant something to Charles, the bison were important to him, and if Arthur could make him a little happier by helping him figure out why they were getting shot then he’d do so.

“Bastards, just killing for fun.”

“You think we can talk?” Arthur scoffed which earned him a glare from Charles.

“I don’t kill for fun. I kill when I need to.” Charles voice had a bite to it and Arthur pursed his lips together to keep from saying anything to make him angrier. Charles began riding faster, calling out to Arthur that he saw more dead bison. They made a beeline to the camp, with Arthur arriving after Charles.

It was rare when Charles got angry. Usually he was more reserved, kept to himself but didn’t lash out at anyone if they didn’t deserve it. Seeing Charles get off his horse with his hand on his gun sent a chill up Arthurs spine. Arthur got off his own horse and stayed behind Charles, not too close since he figured it best to keep some distance between them.

Two men were sitting at the camp and before either of them could get a word out Charles spoke. “Did you fools shoot those bison?”

“Whats your problem?” One of the men scoffed, so full of himself it made Arthur scowl.

“I said did you fools shoot those bison?” Charles stood up straight, glaring down at them in anger. The men stood up and Arthur put his hand on his gun belt just in case.

“Calm down you black or red bastard, whatever the fuck you are.” That was it, that was Charles tipping point and he shouted at them this time. Arthur wanted to reach out and put his hand on Charles back, try to make him feel any better but he held himself back- he didn’t need any of Charles anger to be directed at him.   
“Did you shoot them!?”

“Yes we did, and we’ll shoot you too if you don’t get. What business is it of yours what we-” The man didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Charles pulled his gun out and shot him. Arthur flinched when Charles shot him, and of course he felt his chest tighten again, like he was proud of Charles for shooting the man. He had to step back and cough into his jacket, but that didn’t seem to bother Charles and the other man was too busy trying to not piss himself to care.

“Its that business of mine!” Arthur turned and spat out some petals, finally calming his lungs down enough he could step in a little.

“Good god you’re crazy!” The man was scared and began to beg for his life. “Look, I got a family, don’t shoot me.” Charles looked like he was ready to shoot him and Arthur stepped in, grabbing the man by the front of his shirt to punch him in the face before Charles could tell him no. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“Why are you shootin those bison and leaving them to rot?” Arthur punched him again and the man spat at him, trying to play an innocent card like he hadn’t done it. Arthur was having none of it and hit him again. He couldn’t see Charles, but since he wasn’t saying anything Arthur figured he wasn’t about to step in and stop him. “Tell us or you’re dead.” Arthur hit him again and the guy finally broke down.

“To make it look like it was indians. We were paid to, just following orders.”

“Just kill him Arthur.” The mans eyes widened in fear and Arthur wrapped his hands around the mans neck, pushing him down and choking him to death as Charles had told him to. He wiped his hands off and turned back to Charles, who relaxed a little bit when he saw the man was dead. “Thank you… I’ve seen enough of this, I’m heading back. You coming?”

“Yeah, I got stuff to get to Pearson that I don’t want in my bag much longer.”

Arthur went back to his horse and mounted it, Charles was quick to ride off out of the area and Arthur followed behind him. Neither of them said a word on the way back to camp and Arthur figured it was for the best to keep his mouth shut as well. They rode back into camp, Arthur hitching his horse near Charles before he removed the bison pelt. Charles was about to walk away and Arthur stopped him quickly.

“Hey, uh. Listen that was uh. Real nice huntin’ with you. If you don’t mind me comin’ along it’d be nice to hunt with you more often. I need practice with my bow an’ my trackin anytime you wanna help..” Arthur tried to not sound too awkward and he hoped Charles wasn’t mad enough to just shove him away. Instead Charles just gave him a soft smile and a nod before turning and walking away. Arthur took a deep breath and felt his heart race with the smile, he just hoped he wasn’t grinning too much when he head over to Pearson and dropped off the pelt and meat.

Arthur made his way over to his own tent and Dutch was quick to walk over and join him. “You have a good time Arthur?”

“Sure Dutch. Killed some poachers that were down there killin bison. I’d uh, not talk to Charles for awhile if you value your life. He’s not real happy right now.” Dutch nodded, taking a puff of his cigar before speaking again.

“Good, when you’re rested up from hunting I need you to do me a favor. I need you to go get Micah. I know you broke him out of the jail, but we need him back at camp.” Arthur let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes. “Arthur, I know hes not your favorite but hes still good. Unless he cut and run from us then we need him back. All hands on deck right now, regardless of your opinions on him.”

“Alright Dutch. I’ll go ‘n get him. But I got other stuff I need to do as well, but I’ll get him back for you.” Dutch gave him a smile and walked away back to his own tent.

Arthur rubbed his face and shook his head, looking up to the sun he figured he should ride out and get the oil wagon for John before anything else happened that would stop him from going tonight. Micah could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit longer of a chapter (not by much though)  
> Sorry for the wait on it!  
> It sucks, I have the whole ending planned out and little things here and there but I can't just skip a bunch of stuff and go there at this point.  
> Also Arthur,,, I'm begging you,,,, cooperate and talk to Charles.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if its not very good, I'll be working on more later I hope you enjoy!


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